Please, Remember Me
by xxxwyattsmommyxxx
Summary: Bella Swan has moved back to Forks, and she's keeping a secret. She has accepted her fate, but when her paths cross with a handsome new face in town, she can't help but wonder why fate would be so cruel. Bella/Edward AH
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nada but the storyline.

This isn't going to be a happy go lucky, love saves the day and cures all kind of story because let's face it...how often does that really happen in life?

Enjoy!

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"Please stop crying," I said, my voice barely audible above the beeping of the machines, "Everything happens for a reason, right?" I felt Charlie grasp my hand, his large fingers completely closing around my dainty ones. My strong, Chief of Police father that never showed any emotion had broken down in front of me and I wasn't sure what to do. It had been my father and I against the world for as long as I could remember, and in all the years that I lived with Charlie I had never seen him like this. I'm sure he had been distraught when Renee, my egg donor, left us but I had only been 2 so it wasn't as though I would remember that.

"I'm sorry Bells," he whispered, looking up at me with sorrow filled eyes, "I'm so sorry." With my free hand I pushed my hair out of my face, and looked out the window. I had been stuck here for two weeks, with absolutely no idea what was wrong with me. I had shown up at my doctor's office for the results of my blood work after I had some strange bruising and joint pain, and she had sent me to the hospital in Seattle for further testing. She had mentioned something about anemia, and it had seemed simple enough.

I hadn't expected to be here this long.

"I just want to go home." I had moved to Seattle to attend the University of Washington three years ago, but right now…I wanted to go _home_. To Forks. I had always promised myself that I would get out of Forks, that it wouldn't hold me back like it did so many others my age. I guess that was the only thing I got from Renee.

My former high school friends hadn't gone off to college, except my best friend Angela Weber. She was attending UoW with me. She wanted to be a teacher and she was going to be fantastic at it, I just knew it. I had been taking classes towards a degree in psychology. I had always been fascinated by the way the mind works. I sighed heavily and leaned back into the uncomfortable pillows that had always accompanied the uncomfortable hospital beds.

"Do I have to tell people? I don't want anything to change, at least not yet."

"No, honey, you don't have to tell anyone that you don't want to and not until you're ready." I nodded my head and looked at my dad. "Bella," he said, clearing his throat, "I know that you don't care too much for her, but she does care about you in her own way and I-"

"No, dad, absolutely not. We're not calling Renee." I rolled my eyes at the thought. She hadn't wanted to be a mother to me, she had made that much clear. From the stories that I had heard about my _mother _she hadn't meant to get pregnant with me, and she hadn't really wanted to marry my dad. We held her back from where she wanted to be in life. She had come from a wealthy family and from what I knew, her parents had passed away shortly before my 2nd birthday, leaving her a lot of money. Their passing gave her the opportunity to do what she had always wanted. Travel the world. Forks and my dad and I had always held her in one place, and she despised us for it. I knew a part of her loved us, but it wasn't enough. "She gave us up, and I'm glad she did. A phone call here, and a postcard there does not a mother make."

I heard my dad sigh, and I knew he was going to drop it. He never pushed me when it came to her, and I was thankful that he didn't. A silence fell between us, and I closed my eyes while we waited. Silence was something we were good at.

"Isabella Swan?"

Looking towards the door I saw a nurse standing there, my chart in her hands and her eyes trained on me. "Yes?" I said, shifting in the bed, "Do I get to leave now?" I chewed on my bottom lip nervously, and looked towards Charlie. He had straightened up in his chair, and glanced in my direction.

"I'm sorry Ms. Swan," she said, shaking her head, "Not just yet. We're trying to reach a doctor at your local hospital to go over the plan with them before we release you. We left a message and the nursing staff said he's pretty quick about returning pages, so hopefully within the next few hours. I came to see if there was anything that I could get you and your father?"

"No, thank you," I said, "I'm fine, but my dad would probably kill for a good burger right about now. Could you point him towards the cafeteria?" My dad looked at me suspiciously, and I gave him a knowing look. The burger wasn't really for him. They had me on this awful diet that consisted of the blandest foods possible, and I was sick of it! He shook his head softly, and cleared his throat before getting up and getting pointed in the right direction by the nurse.

The doctor that had been on my case since I got here came in my room right as Charlie left, and sat in the chair he had just vacated. "How are you holding up Ms. Swan?" I snorted when he asked that. Was he for real? I sat up straighter in the hospital bed, and set my hands gently into my lap.

"You can call me Bella, Dr. Grant," I said, laughing. I felt the familiar sting of tears in my eyes as I looked at him, wondering how he was able to stay so composed all the time. "How do you do it? How do you look someone in the eye and give them bad news all the time? Doesn't it start to wear on you?"

"Every day," he said, smiling softly at me. The smile didn't quite reach his eyes, and when I looked deeper, there was a sadness there. "Especially in cases where I deal with children, and young adults with so much life ahead of them." I looked down at my hands, the tears threatening to fall and I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth. He sat there with me for a moment, neither of us speaking. He knew I what I wanted to ask, I could feel it, but he wasn't going to give me the answer without the question first.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up, "How long?"

"We don't know for sure," he said, holding my gaze, "but we estimate a little over a year if you choose to get treatment, six months if you refuse."

"So," I said, clearing my throat and wiping away the damn tears, "Either way, I'm going to die?"

"I'm afraid so, Bella."

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Don't be afraid to share your opinions with me, I don't bite...hard.

Tata til next time!


	2. Home Again

Here is the next chapter!

Hope you guys enjoy!

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I sat on the full sized bed in my childhood home, my eyes searching the window for any sign of life. The snow was falling outside, painting everything it touched with the purest shade of white, and I smiled softly. Everything looked untouched. There was no footprints in the freshly fallen snow, no animal tracks and no cars had driven by our street just yet. It was peaceful. This was likely to be the last winter I was going to experience, and the last Christmas I would have with my dad. I was torn inside. I accepted what the doctors told me easier than I had thought I was going to, but at the same time a part of me couldn't help but worry about my dad.

Charlie had given up his dreams of joining the FBI when my mother left us. He had been in the process of training in Seattle when he got the call from our neighbor that Renee had asked her to watch me. When she saw Renee loading some suitcases in to the back of her old Volkswagen Beetle she had called Charlie, and neither of us ever saw her again. My dad hadn't even gotten to say goodbye to her before divorce papers arrived via certified mail six months later.

Sighing, I leaned back against the wall and looked down at the journal in my lap. My doctors in Seattle had insisted I meet with a therapist once a week to help me cope with the journey ahead of me, and to help adjust to the sudden change in my entire life. I had thought it was a ridiculous idea, but the therapist wasn't so bad. She seemed strong, and I liked her. She had asked me to keep a journal, to help record my thoughts about my life. She had said I could use it any way that I wanted to, even if I just felt like writing something as simple as 'I'm happy today.'

I opened it up and stared at the blank page in front of me. I hadn't been the kind of girl to keep a diary before, so this was going to be new to me. I leaned over towards my nightstand and plucked a pen from it, and started to write.

_Dear Me, I guess…_

_This has been the strangest past few weeks of my life, and completely life altering. I hadn't thought I would go to a routine doctor's appointment just to be admitted into the hospital. Guess that's just my luck, though isn't it? Bad things have always happened to me…like the one time I almost got hit by Tyler's van in high school, and let's not forget the numerous times I crashed dirt bikes with Jake out on the res. _

_I'm worried about Charlie, how he'll cope with things once I'm not here…when I die. It's been me and Charlie against the world my whole life. I don't know who will cook him dinner and make him eat healthy. I know he's been sneaking burgers from the diner since I moved to Seattle, but I always came home on the weekends to stock his fridge with healthy foods and once I'm gone, I don't know who will do that for him. Maybe I should push him to date?_

_Anyways, I'm feeling okay today, though I'm nervous to start treatments tomorrow. I don't know what to expect, and I'm a little scared about the unknown. _

_Well…I guess that's it. _

I set the journal to the side, and went downstairs to see if Charlie was home yet. He had said he would take more time off work, but I didn't think that was necessary. He didn't need to put his life on hold just because mine was. Picking up my cell phone that was charging on the counter, I called the police station.

"Forks Police Department, Marcie speaking."

"Hey Marcie, is Charlie around? It's Bella." I had always liked Marcie, she was a little older than my dad but she had been working at the police station for as long I could remember.

"Oh yeah honey, hold on." I waited for a minute while she transferred me back to my dad and I wondered why he was still there. It was pushing five, and he was normally home by now. It was Sunday and he hadn't even been scheduled to go in today.

"Chief Swan."

"Hey dad," I said, smiling into the phone, "I'm heading to the grocery store. I wanted to make some chicken alfredo for dinner, but we don't have any parmesan or cream. Do you need me to pick you up anything?" Cooking had always been a passion of mine, and I was so thankful that my dad had always supported me when I chose to take the random cooking class growing up. I was sure that had I not chose to study psychology I would have wanted to go to culinary school.

"No, thank you Bella, but uh…" my dad paused, and I wondered what he had to tell me that was making him nervous, "I, um, I spoke with your doctor here in town, Dr. Cullen. Did you know he and I went to school together? He grew up here. Anyways, I figured he's going to be a pretty big part of your life, and it would be nice to catch up with him too, so I asked him and his wife to come over for dinner tonight."

I sighed into the phone. "Okay, dad. You really didn't have to do that, but I'll set two extra plates." The truth was that Charlie was just as nervous about tomorrow as me, and he hated hospitals. I had told him that he didn't have to come to my treatment with me, but he insisted. "What time will they be here?"

"Six. Listen Bells, I gotta run. I just need to sign off a few more things and I'll be headed home." We said our goodbyes and I grabbed my keys off the counter. I pulled on a thick black jacket over the dark blue sweater I wore, and shoved my feet into my boots. I had been getting colder lately, but was getting night sweats. When I hopped into my big old red truck, I smiled as it roared to life. Jake and my dad had rebuilt the engine in the big old thing for me when I was junior in high school. It was my birthday present and I loved it.

I made my way to the grocery store and hopped out of the cab of my truck. I looked around the parking lot, noticing that there were quite a few cars in the parking lot. I really wasn't ready to run into anyone I went to school with just yet, but in a town as small as Forks I knew the odds were against me. Grabbing my wallet off my seat, I closed the door behind me and made my way into the store.

I picked up a hand basket, and headed towards the deli department to get some parmesan when I saw one of the nosiest girls to ever walk the face of the planet. Lauren Mallory. _Just shoot me now. _I kept my head down, hoping she wouldn't notice me. I thought I was in the clear as I passed her, but her nasally voice called out my name.

"Damnit," I muttered, under my breath, as I turned to face her. "Lauren, hi! So good to see you."

The blonde walked towards me, her blue eyes taking me in. Lauren had been a cheerleader in high school, and one of the biggest sluts I knew of. Well, it was really a tie between her and Jessica Stanley. "How are you Bella? What are you doing here, I thought you were in Seattle?"

"I'm fine," I lied, nodding my head and shifting my weight, "I'm just in town for a little while right now, taking a break from city life, you know. It gets busy. Listen, we're having some people over for dinner, my dad and I, and I really have to get going." Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly and she pursed her lips. She was taking in what I said and trying to get some twisted meaning out of it. She had been the source of almost every rumor at Forks high, so I was sure that by tomorrow everyone would know I was back in Forks, and with the way Lauren's mind worked…knocked up by one of my professors.

"Alright," she said, leaning in for a hug, "but let's get together soon and catch up over lunch or something." I mumbled something, not even sure what I said as I scurried away from her. That girl was the worst, and it looked as though much with her hadn't changed. Well, apart from her bra size, it was clear that she had gotten her latest conquest to pay for a boob job. Tacky.

After I had the cheese and cream, I hurried towards the checkout. I quickly paid for my things and practically ran through the parking lot in a hurry to get home. I had glanced down at my watch. It was already ten after five, and I needed to get home and get dinner started. I made it home quickly and when Charlie walked in the door ten minutes later I was in the kitchen adding some fettuccine into a pot of boiling water.

"Hey Bells."

"Hey," I said, reaching for the parmesan I had grated. "How was work dad?"

"It was okay," he said, reaching into the fridge for a beer. "Just a lot of paperwork today." That was all that was said between us, and as I continued to cook I heard the sounds of the football game in the other room. Some things would never change, and I was eternally grateful for that. Time flew by as I cooked, and the next thing I knew there was a knock at the door, and my dad was ushering two people into the house. I heard him telling them where to hang up their coats, and to follow him towards the kitchen.

I turned the stove off just in time to turn to come face to face with Dr. Cullen and his wife. He was handsome and fair, with blonde hair and light eyes, and I was completely caught off guard by the beauty of his wife. Her hair was a beautiful shade of copper, and hung to her shoulders in waves. The thing that stuck out the most about the pair of them was the kindness reflecting in their eyes and smiles.

"Bella," said my dad, "This is Carlisle and Esme Cullen." I stepped forward to shake Carlisle's hand, smiling as I did.

"It's nice to meet you," I said, turning to his wife. I was surprised when she pulled me into a tight embrace. I hugged her back, and I couldn't help but feel at ease in the woman's arms.

"You too, Bella." I stepped back and reached for the dishes I had set on the counter. My dad directed them towards the dining room table, and I tossed the pasta and alfredo sauce before adding the cut up chicken on top. I finished the pasta up with some extra parmesan and grabbed the salad I had prepared from the fridge. I made my way into the dining room, and set the bowls into the middle of the table.

"This smells divine, Bella."

"Thank you Esme. It's a sundried tomato alfredo sauce, I hope you guys enjoy it." I watched as everyone served themselves, wondering when the real topic of discussion would start. I filled my own plate with salad and pasta and we ate in a comfortable silence until Charlie spoke.

"What brought you back to Forks Carlisle?"

"A desire to help," he answered. "I heard there was an opening in the oncology department so I took it. I don't know if you know or not, but the department is relatively new to the hospital. They added it a few years ago when they expanded the hospital, and they've had a hard time attracting quality doctors due to the size. Unfortunately a lot of my colleagues are in the business for the prestige and the paycheck, not the patients." They continued their conversation while I moved my fork around on my plate, tossing pasta aside here and there. My appetite had dwindled over the past few weeks, which had been another symptom I was told, but at the time I had thought nothing of it.

"Bella?" I looked up into the green eyes of Esme. "Are you alright, dear? You've been playing with your food for the past ten minutes."

"Oh," I said, surprised that she noticed. "Yeah, I'm just not that hungry anymore." I bit the inside of my cheek and flicked my eyes towards Charlie.

"That's unfortunately going to happen, Bella." It was Carlisle who spoke, and I turned my attention towards him. They had explained a lot of this to me at the hospital in Seattle, but it had been very brief upon my discharge. "We'll go over a lot of this tomorrow at your appointment."

"Wait," said Esme, her voice filled with shock, "Bella is your _patient?_"

He nodded his head, and a small gasp came from Esme and her eyes turned towards me, watery with tears. "Yes, dear." He dipped his head, his hand reaching for hers, and I wondered why she would be sad over someone she barely knew.

"Are you okay, Bella? I mean," she said, her face flushing, "Are you going to be okay?"

I looked towards Charlie, my eyes searching his face. His mouth was set in a tight line, and his hands lay flat on the table. I knew he was uncomfortable. He wasn't an open kind of person, and this was as personal as things could possibly get. I dropped my eyes to the table, and took a deep breath.

"No," I said, my voice soft as I spoke, "I have AML, and unfortunately it was caught rather late since my levels are way higher than they expected. All the symptoms I had before had been in line with my recent bout of the flu, and I had at first chalked up the bruising I was experiencing to just being clumsy. The doctors at the University Hospital gave me a year, with treatment. I've decided to do the first round of treatments and see where it goes from there. If I'm not responding at all, or I have adverse reaction to it…I'm going to just manage pain and symptoms for as long as I can."

I looked at the faces of the three adults in the room with me, and I could see the same thing reflecting back at me in all of their eyes. It was a mixture of pity, sadness, and in my dad's case…heartbreak. Esme had tears in her eyes, and when I looked over at my dad he looked on the verge of breaking. "Are you sure of your choice Bella?" Carlisle's voice was uneven, and I nodded my head.

"I was told I'm going to die with or without treatment, and I personally don't see the point of spending the last months of my life miserable from the chemotherapy and radiation. I want to enjoy what time I have left. I want to really live, since this is the last chance I have."

Esme had silent tears falling from her eyes, her hand rest against her chest and she was leaned back in her chair like she had just received the worst news of her life. Carlisle's gaze was downcast, and Charlie was fighting back tears. "Bella and I," he said, clearing his throat and pausing before he continued, "We discussed this at length, and this is her choice. I don't agree with it, but I just want her to be happy for as long as she can. When it comes time to discuss hospice care, then we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

I smiled at my father, wondering how the hell he was being so strong about this. I knew my diagnosis and the prognosis was eating away at him, but he was supporting me. "I know I have a hard road ahead of me, and I was told I'll eventually need to be on oxygen just to be able to walk around, and that the smallest of colds could cut the time I have left significantly. There are a lot of things I haven't gotten to do, that I will never be able to experience, and places that I will never be able to visit. I had dreams, things I wanted to accomplish…a plan for my life. This wasn't in my plan. Leukemia wasn't in my plan, but I'm just thankful that I have my dad."

The night ended shortly after our discussion, and I found that I was exhausted. Carlisle and Esme were the first people outside of my dad that knew the truth, and I knew that my illness would stay with them. My dad trusted them, something that wasn't earned easily in his eyes, so I wasn't worried about it being the biggest news in Forks by morning. "Dad?" I called, stopping just in front of the stairs. He had offered to clean up the kitchen for me, even though I had said I would, he insisted, "I'm going to bed. I'm tired and I have to be up early to meet Dr. Cullen at the hospital."

"Alright Bella," he said, and in his voice I could hear the tears. I was torn. I wanted to go wrap my arms around my dad and promise him that things would be alright, but I couldn't do that…I didn't want to lie to him. "Goodnight, I love you."

"Love you too, dad." I climbed the stairs and walked into my dark room. When I sat down on the bed I felt a rush of emotions. I didn't want to be the scared girl who was uncertain of what her future held. I wanted to be strong for my dad. I wanted him to remember me in the best way possible, not hooked up to machines and throwing up every day from all the medications that were going to be pumped through my body soon.

In the darkness of my room, I curled up onto my bed, and cried myself to sleep.

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I am hoping to update this every few days, or as often as possible.

Tata til later!


	3. Chapter 3

**Voila! Chapter 3!**

**Bella is meeting some familiar faces in this chapter, hope you enjoy!**

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I awoke the next morning to my dad tapping softly on my bedroom door, and I stretched languidly in my bed. "I'm up dad," I said, rolling onto my side and staring at the door. I was normally awake and cooking him breakfast before he went to work, but I knew the nervousness had him awake almost all night. When I got up to go to the bathroom around 3am he was awake, pacing in his room.

Shuffling towards my closet, I reached for a pair of jeans and an oversized long sleeve shirt. I pulled my clothes on quickly and made my way downstairs to find my dad in his favorite recliner, clutching two travel mugs. "Coffee?" I asked, he nodded his head and I happily took one of the mugs. Sipping from it, I smiled at my dad and tilted my head towards the door.

"You ready?" he asked. I sighed and made my way towards the door, grabbing my keys off the entry table. When I opened the front door I was met with the cool morning air and pristine white snow.

"I hope this doesn't take too long," I said, climbing up into the passenger side of my truck, "I really don't want you to have to stay at the hospital all day." Charlie shook his head as he made my truck roar to life.

"You need to just worry about yourself, Bells."

The drive to the hospital was short, and before I knew it my dad and I were sitting in Carlisle's office, waiting. My dad was fidgeting and he was making me far nervous than I had been the entire time. "Dad," I said, narrowing my eyes, "stop moving." He smiled apologetically just as Carlisle walked into the office.

"I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, Swans." He smiled warmly at us as he took his seat behind his desk, "I was trying to get your records from the University hospital, Bella."

"It's okay," I said, looking down at his desk. IT looked like cherry wood. Or maybe a dark oak. It was nice. And I was avoiding the conversation I knew we had to have by thinking about wood. Nice, Bella, real nice.

"So," he said, opening a file on his desk, "We're going to start with induction therapy, and you have a couple different options. First, I want to know if you are interested in any clinical trials? There are quite a few, and while the results aren't always the best, some people do respond well to them-"

"No thank you," I said, shaking my head. "I looked into the clinical trials that are currently being done and I'm not interested. I'll take the standard Chemo, with possible stem cell transplant and radiation therapy."

"Are you sure, Bella?"

"Yes." I looked from my Carlisle to my dad and back to Carlisle. I knew that my dad had hoped that I would change my mind and consider some of the clinical trials, but I wasn't one to take risks like that. I knew that my time was limited, and with the traditional methods of treatment I already knew what to expect. I had researched the side effects and I was prepared for them.

"Alright," said Carlisle, standing from his chair, "then I think we should get you started as soon as we can." He looked to my dad and me, and we both nodded. There was no point in putting off what we could do today until tomorrow.

"I'm ready whenever you are." I stood up, and placed my hand gently on Charlie's shoulder. I really did feel badly for my dad. It wasn't supposed to work this way. He wasn't supposed to watch me get sick and slowly waste away. My teeth sunk into my lower lip as I considered the future, and I glanced down at my faded black converse.

Carlisle led us down the hall to the nurse's station where he told me they would be taking a blood test before sending me to the treatment room. My dad, bless his soul, had arranged for me to get a private room so that I didn't have to sit with anyone else during my first treatment and I was incredibly thankful. "Just have a seat right here, Bella, and someone will be along to take your blood test." I sat down in the uncomfortable chair, and smiled at my dad.

WE only had to wait a few moments before a small dark haired girl appeared with a kit in hand. "Hi," she said, her voice bright and bubbly, "I'm Alice, and I'm going to be one of your nurses during your treatments. You're going to have two of us assigned to you. You'll meet Rosalie soon enough, she'll be the one helping me mix the chemo-cocktail tailored specifically for you. Now, I need to get some blood so we can get this off to the lab!"

I smiled as politely as I could at Alice, and was thankful that she worked quickly and efficiently. She had all the vials of blood she needed within minutes, and was wrapping my arm up with a dark blue stretchy bandage. "Okay, Bella, Chief Swan, just follow me!" We both followed her down the corridor towards room 432 and once insider, she turned to face us.

"Thank you Alice," I said, dropping down onto the hospital bed. She nodded her head, and busied herself in the room making sure things were in their places. I looked to my dad who had taken a seat in an oversized chair, and smiled. "Its fine dad, everything will be fine."

"No, Bella," He said, his voice uneven, "It's not fine. None of this fine. I wish this was happening to me, not you. You had your whole life ahead of you. I've lived. I've lived." I bit my lip and looked down at my hands folded delicately in my lap. Those pesky tears were building up in my eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I'm so sorry."

The next few minutes passed in silence, and when I lifted my eyes I found myself staring directly at Alice. She had a sad, knowing smile of her pixie like features, and in her hands was a couple of pillows and blankets. "I know you didn't know what to expect," she said, handing a pillow a blanket to Charlie, and then to me, "but these rooms do tend to get cold. You're more than welcome to bring your own things with you if you would like. WE don't mind. In fact, we encourage you to bring an iPad, iPod, or computer if you want."

"Thank you," said my dad, tucking the pillow behind him as he leaned further back into the chair. His eyes were rimmed red and his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. Alice nodded and made her way from the room, promising to check on us in a little while. I glanced around the room and noticed that it was more brightly colored than the other hospital I had been in. Since it was a treatment room I supposed they wanted to try and make it a little more cheery.

There was one of those salmon colored water pitched placed by the bed with two cups, and I poured some water for myself and Charlie while we waited. My blood work had to come back with white blood cells high enough for them to do the treatment, I knew that, but I wondered how long it would take. I had been told that they put a rush on all cancer patients' blood work, and I really hoped that was the case.

After about an hour, Carlisle came to my room with Alice and a tall, beautiful blonde. I assumed she was my other nurse, Rosalie. "Okay, Bella," he said, smiling and folding his hands in front of him, "Your blood work came back okay, so we're going to move forward with the chemotherapy today. Rosalie will be placing an IV for you today, and we're going to schedule you for a PICC line for your next visit. It will be easier on your body and will allow us direct access to your blood stream for the chemo and future blood draws."

I nodded my head through all of this as I watched the tall blonde gather things from around the room, and then move to set them next to me on the silver tray. "Don't worry, Bella, I'm one of the best when it comes to placing an IV. Most people barely feel a pinch, or so they say." She flashed me a brilliant smile, and I felt a tinge of jealousy. She was incredibly beautiful, and I was just plain old sick Bella. My features were boring and normal while she looked as though she belonged on the cover of a magazine.

"Okay," I said lamely, pushing up the sleeve of my shirt. I was really good with needles. Shots and IV's had never really phased me and I was thankful for that now. Rosalie was right, and I barely felt her place the IV line. She flushed it quickly, and had me taped up and ready to go.

"You got the bag, Al?" She called over her shoulder to Alice who was busy talking with Carlisle in hushed voices, and she looked towards us. She nodded her head and told Rosalie, who she called Rose, that it was out at the nurses station.

"Charlie," said Carlisle as I leaned back onto the hospital bed, "is there anything I can get you? Perhaps we can take a walk and I can talk about the aftercare for Bella?" Charlie shook his head and reached over to grab my hand.

"Thank you Carlisle," he said, looking towards me, "but I'm not leaving Bella if it isn't necessary."

"I understand," he said, and glanced over at me, "I just want to be sure you know what to expect. It isn't going to be easy, I just want you both to know that." Alice returned then, and she had the bag of my chemotherapy medications hanging from the IV pump. Before I knew it she was rubbing the end of my IV line with alcohol, preparing to connect the chemo to my line and my heart started racing.

This was real. Holy shit.

I felt my breathing get labored, and my eyes widened with panic. Charlie was at my side, rubbing my back and running his other hand over my hair, "It's alright Bella," he whispered to me. I felt tears fall from my eyes, staining the sheet that I had pulled into my lap, and I buried my head in his shoulder. "Shhh, baby girl, it's going to be okay."

My dad's comforting words washed over me and as Alice connected the lines, I felt the timer on my life start to countdown for the first time. This was really happening to me. I felt Alice gently squeeze my hand, and she offered me a friendly smile before taking a seat next to me. I felt the strange sensation of medication moving up through my arm as it was freed from the catheter. "It's going to take three hours, Bella, and I'm going to sit here with you and your dad through it all. If you need anything, either of you, just ask. It's what I'm here for."

I smiled at her, and nodded my head softly. "It will help if you sip water during the whole process, and I'll ask Rose to get your some crackers. We're never sure how someone is going to feel immediately after, but you're going to want to have something in your stomach." I leaned back into the pillows behind me, and looked at my dad.

"I love you daddy," I said, and turned onto my side. This was just the beginning of my new life as a cancer patient.

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**Thank you for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, a little bit more of Bella's treatment plan is explained here! Also, we meet someone impoooortant. Very briefly, though.**

**Enjoy!**

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"I'm so sorry Charlie," I heard someone whispering, "I thought that you knew she had to stay in the hospital. This treatment is given as an inpatient procedure. We can't send her home during the induction process." I kept my eyes closed and tried to keep my breathing steady. Stay here? Induction process? What the _hell _were they talking about?

"It's fine," I heard my dad say, and I could tell from the sound of his voice that he was exhausted, "she's not going to like it, but it will be fine. I can run home and get us some things." Ah, that's right. Chemo. Hospital. Me. I was in the hospital, and from the sounds of this conversation, I wasn't leaving. I hadn't anticipated this. I had read several different things about what to expect, but I had hoped I wouldn't need to stay in the hospital.

I shifted lightly, feeling the tug of an IV in my hand. Oh, right. "Dad," I said, opening my eyes and looking at him and Dr. Cullen. "You're not going to get us things. You can go get _me things. _I'm not going to ask you to forsake the comfort of your bed for a hospital cot. I'll be fine." I straightened up so that I was sitting in the bed and glanced between the two men.

They both looked worn.

I flexed my hand and looked towards the bag that was hanging from the IV pole. "It's just fluids, Bella." The small chime like voice of my nurse Alice rang in my ears, and I looked towards the door to see her standing there with one a tray of what looked like mostly fluids. "I gave you some Zofran in your IV line to help combat the nausea that a lot of people complain about, though there was some mixed in with the daunorubicin, and there was some other things in it that were low in your CBC."

I nodded my head, not really sure what the hell she had just said to me. "I understood the fluids and the bit about nausea. You lost me with the rest. I thought Carlilse had said I would be getting a PICC line at my next visit? If I'm staying for this induction thing he mentioned to my dad, then I won't be coming back. I agreed to one round of treatment, so this would be it, right?"

My eyes skipped to each face in the room, finally settling on Carlisle. "Well, Bella, I was really hoping you would change your mind, and to be honest…it kind of slipped my mind. We can have the line inserted tomorrow, Alice is going to go over the benefits with you and give you some information on the other option."

I shook my head, and glanced to Charlie. "We know the other option, Carlisle, and Bella already said she doesn't intend to have a port placed in her chest." We talked for a few more minutes and when Carlisle left to go meet someone in the cafeteria, Alice plopped down in the chair next to my bed again and smiled. Charlie muttered something about going to get my things, and was out the door after a quick kiss to my forehead.

"How are you feeling Bella?"

"Honestly?" I said, leaning back against the bed, "I'm kind of hungry. No offense Alice, but I'm not going to live off liquids. Do you think we could take a walk to the cafeteria?" Alice stood up and nodded her head before glancing down at her watch. I watched as she unhooked the fluids from my IV, and placed a small cap on the end of the line. She held her dainty little hands out to me, and helped me off the bed.

"I'm guessing you don't want a wheelchair?" I snorted with laughter and shook my head. There was no way I was letting her push me around in a damn wheelchair.

"I kid you not, Bella. The first day here I accidentally stabbed Rosalie in the ass with a syringe when I tripped over…god…I don't even remember what I tripped over!" I was seated in the small cafeteria with Alice, sipping from a bottle of water and laughing at all the stories she had to tell me. While the thought of real food had certainly been nice, when I had walked into the room the smells assaulted my senses and I ended up throwing up directly into a trashcan to my left.

Whoops.

Alice had said it happened, even with nausea meds. The dose would be a little higher next time, if I wanted.

"That's nuts, Alice. How are you two still friends? If you stabbed me in the ass I don't think I would ever talk to you again!"

"Well," she said, leaning back and popping a chip into her mouth, "then I guess I'm going to be getting a lot of silence from you one day!" My eyes widened and I started to laugh with her. Sitting here with her had felt so normal that I had almost forgot I was her patient, not her friend. The thought made me sad all of a sudden and I felt my smile falter, and my laugh lose its edge.

"Hey, what happened? You just got…upset? I know this is hard."

I started shaking my head, and I looked down to the table and the small bag of almonds that I had been managing to keep down, "It's not that…I just almost forgot, sitting here with you. You're my nurse, but sitting here with you was like sitting down with a friend." I lifted my eyes, just briefly to meet hers and was met with a smile.

"Silly Bella," she said, reaching her hand over to mine, "I can be both." We both stood and started to make our way towards the wing of the hospital that would be my new home when we bumped into Carlisle and Esme. A younger man was with them, but I didn't have a chance to even look at him properly before Esme was enveloping me in a hug.

"Hi to you too," I said, reaching around and placing my hands awkwardly on her back. I didn't come from a family of huggers. It was kind of weird, but definitely nice. She pulled back to look at me, her eyes scanning my face before moving down to my hand. She reached out gently and placed both of her hands over mine and smiled at me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I lied. Truth be told my body was starting to feel very fatigued, and my mouth getting dry. I was also getting a headache. Alice must have been a mind reader because she was handing me a bottle of water that I hadn't noticed she was carrying before. I smiled in appreciation before taking a small sip. Esme's eyes narrowed just slightly, and I knew she didn't believe my thinly veiled lie.

"OH!" She exclaimed before reaching around and pulling on the young man I had seen a moment ago. "Alice, Bella, I want you to meet my nephew, Edward Cullen. He's just moved here!"

Before I knew it, Alice's laughter was filling the hallway. "So you're the new Dr Cullen people have been going on about! I know Carlisle has been here for a few months now so when the nurses were talking about the new Dr Cullen I thought they had all lost their minds!"

As soon as I turned my eyes towards Edward, Dr. Cullen, the conversation between them was drowned out. I was staring at one of the most beautiful men I had ever seen. God damn these Cullens! It's like they were gifted with the genes of greek gods. His eyes were a deep verdant and they sparkled with life, something mine lacked I was sure. The way his mouth tilted to the left, just slightly, when he spoke had me entranced, and my eyes were glued to his perfect lips for a moment. His hair was a shade all it's own, and it looked as though he ran his hands through it often.

"Bella?"

What? Did someone just say my name? Holy shit, did they see me drooling over my doctors son? _Fuck me._ "Bella? Are you alright?"

I shook my head to clear my lust filled thoughts, and I turned to look at Alice. "I'm tired, I'm sorry if I just zoned out on you. Do you think we could go back to my room now? I'd like to lay down and see if Charlie is back?" Alice nodded her head, and said her goodbyes to the Cullens while I kept my silence. I offered them all a rather timid smile, and I let Alice lead me back to my prison for the next…shit, I didn't even ask how many days I would be here!


End file.
